Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
