Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
