That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
