My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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