I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I pour the whiskey from now on
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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