2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
