i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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