she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
