Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
