I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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