I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
