Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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