Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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