i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
