Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
