I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
