Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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