Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
