oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
