Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
