so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
