She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
