How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
