I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
