I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
