She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
