idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Boobs are out for the taking
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
