I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
