he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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