I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
