You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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