Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
