Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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