If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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