Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
