Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
