he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
