One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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