then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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