Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
