I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
