Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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