you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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