we have pet lesbian snakes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
