It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
