my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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