i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
