we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize