Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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