Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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