My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
