I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
