I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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