either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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